This is my 100'th post! Feel free to do the happy dance with me if you'd like.
Over at Julie's Using My Words blog, this week's Hump Day Hmm post is: "Topic for this week: How and When Do You Use Your Words...Social Scenarios"
I have reacted in different ways to several of the scenarios that Julie provided. However, instead of actually writing out a scenario where my friends were hosting a party, and I was not invited and my different reactions to that when it has happened several times, I am setting a goal on how to react in the future.
In the past, I have used a very agressive technique. (Dictionary.com defines agressive as pushy or negaitve.) Instead, I have decided to be assertive. (Definition from dictionary.com of assertive is confidently agressive, self assured; positive.) I can speak up but do it in a positive fashion. For instance, in the past, when my friends have hosted a party and "conveniently" forgotten to invite me, I have reacted with hurtful, impassioned speaches about how they must really not be my friend and asked why they were rude enough to try not to include everyone.
In the future, (although I have pretty much come out of contact with the people who were like that) when I find myself or my kids uninvited to a party, and my friends are talking about it around me, I'll just say, "I guess my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. What was I supposed to bring again?" It's an assertive way without trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If they say, "Well, there's just not room enough to invite everyone," then I'll say, OK, I can deal with that. I probably just won't be hanging out with those people much any more.
As for sticky customer service situations, I am going to state my position without acting angry. Something I have learned the hard way in the recent past is that acting angry hardly ever, if ever gets good results. However, when I'm calm, but I stick to my guns and quietly don't back down, the desired things happens, and I walk away feeling that justice wins again.