Saturday, April 18, 2009

Children: The Challenge: A Book review

Children: The Challenge by Rudolf Driekurs is an excellent book. I highly highly highly recommend it. If you are a parent with children under 10, and you are constantly in one power struggle or another with your child(ren) then this is a book for you. I mean it! I have rarely, if ever, spent time that I thought was more quality while reading a book than the time I spent reading this book. OK, OK, so the scriptures don't count. But seriously, folks, this book ROCKS. It Rocks so much that I immediately bought three copies (I only meant to buy two, but when I accidentally bought three I did NOT send the third one back.) At the suggestion of my excellent mother, I borrowed this book. My Mom-in-law happened to have it. I'm very grateful that she did since my copies from Amazon took a little longer than usual since, in my exhaustion, I forgot to change my shipping address from my old house (which we no longer own.)

However, I borrowed this book, and I could not put it down. There are so many good ideas in it. I am loving the ideas. This book gave me such a sense of empowerment that I could again be the leader of my household. I need to work harder at taking my sails out of my children's wind, but at the same time, I am going to work to leave the power struggles behind. There are some ideas that the book shares that I don't like, but at the same time, the idea behind this book is to raise the child with respect. Teach the children respect for you, each other, and order. At the same time, I have gained more respect for Robert, my children, and order. If you know me at all, you know that giving me a respect for order is like trying to teach a bird to swim. So, helping me gain a more healthy respect for order is beautiful too. I love this book. Here is a link.

The Facebook Quandry

OK, so I have some really great ideas about some parenting posts that I want to do, and I have another post about conventional potty training (which, after ECing Jackie and working with Ben to potty train (because he isn't potty trained yet)) instead, I'm writing a post about Facebook. I know, strange, crazy, and probably stupid, but I think that many of my friends out in internet land have some good ideas on this one, so I'm hoping that you can help me.

I have some close friends who have a Facebook account, so I signed up mostly just to keep up with those friends and to play some of the games that you can play. However, I am finding that it's an incredible way to find out what some people, about whom I have been mildy curious to find out what has gone on with them, are doing with their lives. Like I said, I have added several of my close friends to my friends list, and I've added as many of my family members as I can find. However, here's the quandry: If I really want to find out about these people, (some of them are truly awesome specimens of human souls) do I just go try to add them simply because they have previously been an aquaintance of mine who I just admired from a far? Or do I just go on with life wondering about them?

Now, I know that sounds really stupid, and you're probably thinking, "Why do I care who you put on your facebook list?" But really, I want to know the opinions of people. I grew up in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone, and my parents still live there. New travels at about twice the speed of light there, so I don't really want to annoy anyone. I've been a big enough annoyance in that town for quite some time.

I'm also finding that, although I admired these people, I think that they were either indifferent to me (which is hopeful) or truly bugged by me, so if I try to add them to my facebook as a friend, I'm wondering if I will get some messages back saying, "Why in the world would I want to add you to my facebook page? Crazy. Go away and leave me alone." So in the end, I'm sitting here at 3:51 in the morning, wondering whether or not to add these people. It's probably not a big deal whether I do or don't, but still, I think I'll wait until I get some feedback.

On the other hand, it may be like blogging. When I read my friends' blogs, I go down their lists and look at other blogs to see if there are people I know and am interested in. If so, I go over, comment on their blog, and whenever I get around to it, I add them to my blog list. I figure, it's the internet. If they didn't want people looking, don't post it online. Maybe Facebook is the same? Anyway, I really do want opinions from people.