Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Facebook Quandry

OK, so I have some really great ideas about some parenting posts that I want to do, and I have another post about conventional potty training (which, after ECing Jackie and working with Ben to potty train (because he isn't potty trained yet)) instead, I'm writing a post about Facebook. I know, strange, crazy, and probably stupid, but I think that many of my friends out in internet land have some good ideas on this one, so I'm hoping that you can help me.

I have some close friends who have a Facebook account, so I signed up mostly just to keep up with those friends and to play some of the games that you can play. However, I am finding that it's an incredible way to find out what some people, about whom I have been mildy curious to find out what has gone on with them, are doing with their lives. Like I said, I have added several of my close friends to my friends list, and I've added as many of my family members as I can find. However, here's the quandry: If I really want to find out about these people, (some of them are truly awesome specimens of human souls) do I just go try to add them simply because they have previously been an aquaintance of mine who I just admired from a far? Or do I just go on with life wondering about them?

Now, I know that sounds really stupid, and you're probably thinking, "Why do I care who you put on your facebook list?" But really, I want to know the opinions of people. I grew up in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone, and my parents still live there. New travels at about twice the speed of light there, so I don't really want to annoy anyone. I've been a big enough annoyance in that town for quite some time.

I'm also finding that, although I admired these people, I think that they were either indifferent to me (which is hopeful) or truly bugged by me, so if I try to add them to my facebook as a friend, I'm wondering if I will get some messages back saying, "Why in the world would I want to add you to my facebook page? Crazy. Go away and leave me alone." So in the end, I'm sitting here at 3:51 in the morning, wondering whether or not to add these people. It's probably not a big deal whether I do or don't, but still, I think I'll wait until I get some feedback.

On the other hand, it may be like blogging. When I read my friends' blogs, I go down their lists and look at other blogs to see if there are people I know and am interested in. If so, I go over, comment on their blog, and whenever I get around to it, I add them to my blog list. I figure, it's the internet. If they didn't want people looking, don't post it online. Maybe Facebook is the same? Anyway, I really do want opinions from people.


Blake and Rachele Burtenshaw said...

So Ellie you actuallly pose a great question. I'm faced with the same problem once in while on facebook. There has actually been quite a few people that I wanted to add but wasn't sure what the reaction would be and so I would wait a bit longer. Eventually I ended up adding them and everyone of them added me as well. I really wouldn't think that anyone would send you a message asking why you want to be their friend. If you knew them enough for them to at least know you I think it's o.k. to request them to be your friend. I hope this helps.

Eli and Amber Wisden said...

I haven't done facebook, but our feelings on little town in the middle of no where that we grew up in are the same. I know that I like you am a wonderful responsible adult doing good in the world, but I have issues with that judgemental little place and its clicks of people that live or have lived there - I wouldn't worry about it :) add them all as your friends they may be looking up to you - I know I do

Crisanja said...

I have wondered this too at times. Although, I still live in that tiny town. There are some people that I won't add because I don't want to fuel the rumor mill. But I've added just about everyone from high school that I've come across. Even some that I barely have known, and I've had people add me that surprised me, but I felt flattered and added them too. I say, just add them, they'll either add you too, or ignore the invite. They probably won't send you an email about it though. There's even a Monticello high alumni group that you can join.

Melissa said...

Come. Join us. It won't hurt a bit. :)

But about the friending...I've been there, and here's my deal. I don't look for people very often. Every once in a while I will look for some very specific people, but other than that most of the friends I have are initiated from them. That said, I ignore people about 10% of the time. Some of the mean girls from my hs tried to friend me, and I just hit ignore. I mean, really. But if you friended me, I'd accept. :)

le35 said...

Thanks all for the advice. I needed it.

So, I'll probably just add the people from HS that I was wondering about and hope that they don't think I'm too dumb.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it is hard cause of the whole social aspect but I think Facebook is great You can ignore the people you don't like and friend the rest. I have met some wonderful people on there from all over the world :)