Anything and Everything

I'm not doing great at keeping up my blog with only attachment parenting and ecing topics, so this may turn into just a general blog with comments on attachment parenting and elimination communication. Part of that may be that I am not doing a grandios job of ECing my little guy, but in the end, I already have to buy Tushies diapers (because of his sensative bottom) and I can't wash the cloth diapers every day! I'm not feeling great about my AP or ECing right now, but I'll get the hang of it again.

Good luck to all.

Balancing family needs

So, I guess one of the best but hardest parts of parenting is balancing family needs. In this sense, it's a literal way. My husband and I had a bit of a contest today to see who could have our two year old sit on our legs and lift her the most times. We have pictures. I will post them as soon as I get them off of the other computer! But in reality, balancing our family needs is really becoming quite a challenge. Jackie really wants some attention, and Ben is getting busier and busier. As he gets into things like our laptop cords and I am working on getting my house cleaner, I am really having a hard time figuring out how to give Jackie the attention she really wants and needs. Therefore, Rob and I have taken to rough housing with her and working to read her more books. I am also letting her play in the sink as much as she wants. Even in the drought, I figure that the water is worth it. I wish she could play outside, but my yard isn't safe for a two year old. In the end, the rough housing is fun, and I know that we'll get the attention thing figured out.

Air conditioning filters and power

So, today while the girl I hired was here helping me clean, my house got hot. I thought that it was just because we had both been cleaning. We did clean out the fridge. We took all the food off each shelf (if the food looked like it was becoming a science fair project, we tossed it), and took the shelves out, washed them in hot, soapy water, wiped down the fridge and put the food back. We did it with the freezer, too. We also got the living room cleaned up and the kitchen floor swept and mopped. All in all, it was success. However, understandably we felt hot. So, I took her home, and I went back home to cook dinner. I just kept getting hotter and hotter as time went by. Finally, I had dinner ready, and we ate tacos. By this time, I was feeling really hot, but I had been working all day, and then I was cooking on a hot stove. Oh well, so we ate dinner, and I was sweltering. We went to my friend's daughter's softball game tonight, and Jackie played on the playground by the ball fields. We were smelling smoke (A wild fire broke out within 15 miles of here), so we decided to go home. We got home, and I again thought, "The house is so hot!" Finally, I ended up looking at the thermostat, wonder of wonder, it read 80! It was set at 70.

We went to Wal-mart to find a filter, but they didn't have the right size, so we tried one that was the wrong size, and the air conditioner wouldn't turn on. Instead, we went out to the garage to look one more time for an air filter, and there was a stack of 4 right in the garage. Somedays, I'm such a dork!

ECing is good again

So, after the problems we had with my two year old, she seems to be completely recovered. I just worked harder at communicating with her. I tried to understand that she needed some more attention, and I tried to help her understand that I don't like to clean up her misses when she can put them in the potty every time. I told her that if she wanted, she could wear pull-ups, and when she wanted to go potty she could. If she wanted me to change her pull-ups, I would, but she had to ask. I told her that whatever she wanted to do it was her choice, but I wasn't going to clean up messes anymore. Right after that, she took off her pull-ups and decided that she wanted to pee on the floor, so I gave her big towel and told her how to clean it up. She went into the bathroom to do it on the floor just to see if I was serious. After I gave her the towel to clean it up, she felt like she could be in charge of herself. It gave up the power struggle. She wore pull ups for two or three days. She even tried to poop in pull ups. I asked her if she was pooping and she said, "Yes." I said, don't you want to poop on the potty? You don't usually like poop on your bottom. She listened and went right to the potty. She really didn't like to mess herself. She really liked to be clean, and she realized that trying to get attention that way wasn't worth it. During all of this, I really worked to give her a lot of positive attention when she decided to do positive things. Also, I held her through her timeouts, so she could see the difference between positive and negative attention. Since that time, she has started saying, "Mommy (or Daddy) I need some attention." And I will put down whatever I'm doing and go read her a book or sing songs with her. It has really helped us to communicate better, and she has been much happier with less tantrums.

Also, I have been better about ECing my son again lately. I put him back in Pampers (TM) disposable diapers, and he is allergic to them in some way. I think that those diapers make the yeast infection come back. :(. So He is in cloth diapers today, and I'm going to try to EC him as much as possible. Fewer diapers to wash! :) Good luck to me!

Mother's Day

I've had a great Mother's Day today. I got a Cuddlebug *TM (i.e. a die cutting and embossing machine), and it's pretty fun. I have wonderful children, and they have been a joy today. My daughter is having a hard time wanting to go to bed, so it will be awhile before we go to bed, but things are good on Mother's Day.

The crazy world of cleaning house

Anyone who knows me will agree with me when I say that I am notoriously disorganized. Amazingly enough, I can be that disorganized and still get oodles done every day. However, with the disorganization comes a horribly messy house. I don't like a "dirty" house, but it's hard to keep the underneath clean when the mess covers everything. I got so sick of my house that I have hired a girl to come help me four hours a week.

I have discovered a breakthrough in homemaking. It's called www.flylady.net. She gives tips on how to keep your house clean! And they work!!! You would not believe it. Just follow the system for a week and see if your house is not cleaner.

You say, "How does this help me be a better parent?" Well, it helps me. Being a young mother with a two year old and an infant, I feel like I have to watch my children like a hawk, making sure that they aren't becoming the vacuum cleaner because I didn't get the floor cleaned up to use the electronic vacuum. Things are definately looking up. We have eaten at home for all our meals this week except for Tuesday at lunch (and that was planned to be out.) Our family went out almost every day last month. Our budget was feeling it. It scares me though, to eat something I've cooked in a dirty kitchen. Therefore, when my kitchen was in its old state, I could not cook at home. THANK YOU flylady!!!

Not really an attachment parent?

So, all along for my daughter's almost three years of her life and my son's seven months (today), I have thought of myself as an attachment parent. However, according to an Attachment Parent International (API for short) news letter, I have come to discover that I'm not. I don't do tantrums. I can't stand them. My personal idea on tantrums is that every person has the right and reason to cry. Babies cry all the time, and we listen because they can't communicate. However, I feel that it is important to help children use their words and find other ways of communicating instead of tantrums. It is not acceptable behavior for an adult to have a tantrum. When do we learn that tantrums aren't acceptable? We learn that hitting and biting aren't acceptable behaviors from a young age. When do we learn about tantrums? I feel like tantrums should be learned right along with other things.

I do however feel like it's OK to cry or be angry. We just have to find the right ways of behaving when we're sad or angry. If my kids want to cry and throw fits, that's fine with me. They just can't ruin things for the rest of everyone. They are welcome to throw a fit. However, they have to do it in their rooms. When my two year old starts throwing a fit, I tell her, "You're welcome to throw a fit. Just go to your room and do it." Now, sometimes when she wants to cry, she goes to her room first and then starts to cry and throw a fit. The Attachment Parenting letter that went out stated that children can't reason when they're angry. If we don't teach them to reason when they're angry, when do they learn it? We have to learn to reason when we're angry before we kill someone or truly hurt someone.

Therefore, although I agree with SO many (Almost all) of the API ideals of parenting. I'm not truly, completely, an Attachment Parent. I just can't sit and watch Jackie throw a fit and then be sympathetic to it later.

Defending my position as a parent

I love my family. I love them all greatly, and I love my inlaws, too. However, there are times when I want to just leave and never have my children see people again. I hate it when people disrespect my parenting style (and tell me all about it), and I especially hate it when someone says I'm a bad parent right in front of my children. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mom, but I don't need my family members telling me that. I really try to be a good mom, and I really love my children. I have decided to tell my kids that choices have consequences. I will pick them up and take them home if they aren't behaving somewhere. Is that abuse? I don't think so. I don't think that it's abusive to tell a child that it will be awhile before they come back if they can't behave somewhere. Why does that make me an abusive mom? GRRRRR!

Naptime, my favorite

Right now, it is naptime. Both of my kids are asleep. I am sitting in the chair in their room right now with them while they sleep. My son, who will be seven months old next week is in his crib, (but co-sleeps at night), and my daughter is in her own toddler bed. I love this time of the day. My house is so peaceful, and my kids are happy when they wake up from their naps. This is one time of day that I live for. My daughter moved into her own bed around her two year old birthday. We got her a toddler bed, and she has loved sleeping in it. She sleeps right across the hall from us, and she ends up in our bed at around 4 am consistently. Either that, or I come back in here and sit with her while she goes back to sleep. She is a very good girl, and we love her. I'm so glad for naptime, what would I do without it?!?

In the end, I love co sleeping, but I also love it when they are in their own beds, too. There comes a point where there just isn't room for all of us in the bed. My two year old will kick the baby. Sometimes she sleeps on a blanket on the floor at the foot of our bed instead. However, her own bed is one of her favorite places. I think that everyone's attachment parenting is their own, and everyone has their own style.

Confessions of an ECing parent

For the past few days, my lovely, completely graduated ECer has decided that she does not want to put her pees in the potty. She has communicated that very clearly. She wants to put them on the floor in her room, in the pull-ups she wears to bed at night (because she often sleeps so soundly that if I don't put pull-ups on her, she wakes up in a cold, wet bed), or on the bathroom floor. Those were the three times she purposely "missed" yesterday. After those three misses, I put pull-ups on her, and she peed in those twice. We weren't really out of sinc, she was just wanting to be a baby. Oh well, she seems fine today. She's already peed in the potty twice. But lately, she'll just randomly miss. Or she'll wait until she ABSOLUTELY HAS to go before she will tell me. I think that we need to work on our communicating better. Oh well. Good luck to all ECing moms in the world.