This blog discusses attachment parenting and elimation communication. Elimination communication is also known as tickle treat, infant potty training, and more.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Defending my position as a parent
I love my family. I love them all greatly, and I love my inlaws, too. However, there are times when I want to just leave and never have my children see people again. I hate it when people disrespect my parenting style (and tell me all about it), and I especially hate it when someone says I'm a bad parent right in front of my children. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mom, but I don't need my family members telling me that. I really try to be a good mom, and I really love my children. I have decided to tell my kids that choices have consequences. I will pick them up and take them home if they aren't behaving somewhere. Is that abuse? I don't think so. I don't think that it's abusive to tell a child that it will be awhile before they come back if they can't behave somewhere. Why does that make me an abusive mom? GRRRRR!
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9 comments:
I think you are an excellent mother, personally. I believe a parent must choose a style that works for them and stick to it. The worst thing a parent can do is change with every book they read, every disagreement they have with someone else (especially their own parents or their children), or every new television show. Consistency is extremely important, especially with young children.
In our case, we have chosen to let our children know of the consequences of their actions and let them decide - provided they are not in imminent danger from choosing poorly. By helping them understand the positive consequences of doing what they should (e.g., more play time, more positive attention, the occasional treat) as well as the negative consequences (e.g., going to bed early, less play time, fewer privileges), they can learn to choose to do good things. Following this approach has been very successful with our daughter, and I believe our son has responded to it in the limited elements one can use with a six month old.
In the end, we're doing our best to raise our kids the best way we can.
Le, I don't think you are a bad mother, I think that you area a GREAT mother. But I am a little bit biased since I am related to you.
I don't think how you are raising your children is abusive. I think its responsible and your children will grow up to be more respectful teenagers and resourceful adults because your way of raising your kids actually makes them think things through.
Audre
Hey Audre,
Thanks! I needed those kind words. I'm starting to get over it, but the blogging helps. Feel free to keep tuned in. How is your momming going?
Lets just say, that being a Mom is the hardest job I have ever had. Especially because Michael is special needs. Natalie is doing great and I am doing good. I miss talking to you. Glad that everything seems to be going good.
Being a mom is the hardest job that I've ever had, too, Audre. Do you think that Michael is harder, or Natalie is harder? Or is it just different types of hard with each of them?
Just different types of hard. Natalie is only 4 weeks old, and I am breast feeding her. I didn't get to do that with Michael because he never latched on. SO I think she is hard because she's always with me. Michael is hard because I have to be not only his mom and caretaker, I also have to be an advocate for him and make sure that he is getting all the resources he needs through the state. So its just different. Is Ben or Jackie harder for you?
They are both hard in different ways. Ben's hard because he's into everything. Jackie is hard because she's two and a half, and she is overly emotional. Mostly, Ben's easier all around though because he's just an easy going kid.
Also it might be because he's a boy, and boys are more easy going then girls. Except for me and you, cuz we're perfect. HEHEHE.
Ben is probably the most easy going child I've ever seen. Other people agree with that statement. He only fusses if something is really bothering him. He's got a peaceful, patient disposition. Yes, we're somewhat biased, but he really does seem to be about the most patient little boy we know of.
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