The crazy world of cleaning house

Anyone who knows me will agree with me when I say that I am notoriously disorganized. Amazingly enough, I can be that disorganized and still get oodles done every day. However, with the disorganization comes a horribly messy house. I don't like a "dirty" house, but it's hard to keep the underneath clean when the mess covers everything. I got so sick of my house that I have hired a girl to come help me four hours a week.

I have discovered a breakthrough in homemaking. It's called www.flylady.net. She gives tips on how to keep your house clean! And they work!!! You would not believe it. Just follow the system for a week and see if your house is not cleaner.

You say, "How does this help me be a better parent?" Well, it helps me. Being a young mother with a two year old and an infant, I feel like I have to watch my children like a hawk, making sure that they aren't becoming the vacuum cleaner because I didn't get the floor cleaned up to use the electronic vacuum. Things are definately looking up. We have eaten at home for all our meals this week except for Tuesday at lunch (and that was planned to be out.) Our family went out almost every day last month. Our budget was feeling it. It scares me though, to eat something I've cooked in a dirty kitchen. Therefore, when my kitchen was in its old state, I could not cook at home. THANK YOU flylady!!!

Not really an attachment parent?

So, all along for my daughter's almost three years of her life and my son's seven months (today), I have thought of myself as an attachment parent. However, according to an Attachment Parent International (API for short) news letter, I have come to discover that I'm not. I don't do tantrums. I can't stand them. My personal idea on tantrums is that every person has the right and reason to cry. Babies cry all the time, and we listen because they can't communicate. However, I feel that it is important to help children use their words and find other ways of communicating instead of tantrums. It is not acceptable behavior for an adult to have a tantrum. When do we learn that tantrums aren't acceptable? We learn that hitting and biting aren't acceptable behaviors from a young age. When do we learn about tantrums? I feel like tantrums should be learned right along with other things.

I do however feel like it's OK to cry or be angry. We just have to find the right ways of behaving when we're sad or angry. If my kids want to cry and throw fits, that's fine with me. They just can't ruin things for the rest of everyone. They are welcome to throw a fit. However, they have to do it in their rooms. When my two year old starts throwing a fit, I tell her, "You're welcome to throw a fit. Just go to your room and do it." Now, sometimes when she wants to cry, she goes to her room first and then starts to cry and throw a fit. The Attachment Parenting letter that went out stated that children can't reason when they're angry. If we don't teach them to reason when they're angry, when do they learn it? We have to learn to reason when we're angry before we kill someone or truly hurt someone.

Therefore, although I agree with SO many (Almost all) of the API ideals of parenting. I'm not truly, completely, an Attachment Parent. I just can't sit and watch Jackie throw a fit and then be sympathetic to it later.

Defending my position as a parent

I love my family. I love them all greatly, and I love my inlaws, too. However, there are times when I want to just leave and never have my children see people again. I hate it when people disrespect my parenting style (and tell me all about it), and I especially hate it when someone says I'm a bad parent right in front of my children. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad mom, but I don't need my family members telling me that. I really try to be a good mom, and I really love my children. I have decided to tell my kids that choices have consequences. I will pick them up and take them home if they aren't behaving somewhere. Is that abuse? I don't think so. I don't think that it's abusive to tell a child that it will be awhile before they come back if they can't behave somewhere. Why does that make me an abusive mom? GRRRRR!

Naptime, my favorite

Right now, it is naptime. Both of my kids are asleep. I am sitting in the chair in their room right now with them while they sleep. My son, who will be seven months old next week is in his crib, (but co-sleeps at night), and my daughter is in her own toddler bed. I love this time of the day. My house is so peaceful, and my kids are happy when they wake up from their naps. This is one time of day that I live for. My daughter moved into her own bed around her two year old birthday. We got her a toddler bed, and she has loved sleeping in it. She sleeps right across the hall from us, and she ends up in our bed at around 4 am consistently. Either that, or I come back in here and sit with her while she goes back to sleep. She is a very good girl, and we love her. I'm so glad for naptime, what would I do without it?!?

In the end, I love co sleeping, but I also love it when they are in their own beds, too. There comes a point where there just isn't room for all of us in the bed. My two year old will kick the baby. Sometimes she sleeps on a blanket on the floor at the foot of our bed instead. However, her own bed is one of her favorite places. I think that everyone's attachment parenting is their own, and everyone has their own style.

Confessions of an ECing parent

For the past few days, my lovely, completely graduated ECer has decided that she does not want to put her pees in the potty. She has communicated that very clearly. She wants to put them on the floor in her room, in the pull-ups she wears to bed at night (because she often sleeps so soundly that if I don't put pull-ups on her, she wakes up in a cold, wet bed), or on the bathroom floor. Those were the three times she purposely "missed" yesterday. After those three misses, I put pull-ups on her, and she peed in those twice. We weren't really out of sinc, she was just wanting to be a baby. Oh well, she seems fine today. She's already peed in the potty twice. But lately, she'll just randomly miss. Or she'll wait until she ABSOLUTELY HAS to go before she will tell me. I think that we need to work on our communicating better. Oh well. Good luck to all ECing moms in the world.